I don’t know what I’m to expect.
If I’m expecting familial perfection,
I would be deceiving myself.
To sit and stew in the deception.
Would add nothing positive to my mental health.
I don’t know where we’ll all be.
If I think we’ll be together as the tensest of friends,
I would be phony & continuing a lie to some.
It will never come together the same way again.
Many can understand completely why that has come.
I don’t know why I’d be expected to offer.
There has been no apologetic extension to us,
At least I guess I know what you’re missing out on.
I refuse to have the focus be there – so you think why the fuss?
It was upon seeing that old reliable trust was gone.
I don’t know when everything was decided.
If I think that it only started in adulthood,
I just need to pay attention to my life’s witnesses.
When these realizations come, they flood.
Finally noticing my past flightlessness.
I’ll never know who I was intended to be.
If there was any indication that I was scared.
That I held back for fear of everything.
The indication was right. I was scared and my simplest way was to care.
That was then and no one showed up.
This is now. I showed up for myself.