I Showed Up For Myself


I don’t know what I’m to expect.


If I’m expecting familial perfection,

I would be deceiving myself.

To sit and stew in the deception.

Would add nothing positive to my mental health.


I don’t know where we’ll all be.


If I think we’ll be together as the tensest of friends,

I would be phony & continuing a lie to some.

It will never come together the same way again.

Many can understand completely why that has come.


I don’t know why I’d be expected to offer.


There has been no apologetic extension to us,

At least I guess I know what you’re missing out on.

I refuse to have the focus be there – so you think why the fuss?

It was upon seeing that old reliable trust was gone.


I don’t know when everything was decided.

If I think that it only started in adulthood,

I just need to pay attention to my life’s witnesses.

When these realizations come, they flood.

Finally noticing my past flightlessness.


I’ll never know who I was intended to be.


If there was any indication that I was scared.

That I held back for fear of everything.

The indication was right.  I was scared and my simplest way was to care.

That was then and no one showed up.

This is now.  I showed up for myself.



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